Life is a B*tch...

Alright so, this weekend has kind of sucked to put it blunt. Life decided to screw me in the face in many aspects. I lost one of my friends, which I really still do love her, but her reasons for distancing herself rather vex me. Although this stinks, I know that this is a part of life and some people move on from parts of our life. I've learned that the real people, the "real friends" are there to share a piece of their destiny with you in the course of life. Pain hurts, it sometimes feels like someone is ripping your heart out...

This summer, I spent a week in the hospital. I met a boy there who was fourteen and was a danger to the other patients because of his rage issues. I never really knew his illness, but I knew one thing.
Everyone was afraid of this boy.
One day, he was sitting off in a corner staring angrily at the floor. Many of the other people, including the nurses, avoided him.
Except me.
I approached this boy and watched the rage pulse through him. My heartrate jumped up a couple of notches, fearing that this was maybe a bad idea.
"Hey."
No response from him.
I sat there for a few hours with him and just talked. It was mainly just a one-sided conversation, with me, myself and I. He sat there and listened, occasionaly looking at me with his dark foreboding eyes. His hands twitched restraining the urge to grab me and throttle the life out of my little body, for I kept talking and talking. Finally, he spoke.
"Wanna... Wanna know what, um, happened to make me like this?"
I looked at him, doe eyed that he actually spoke.
"Yes, hun, I do."
The boy raised a fist to his chest and made a cutting motion, reinacting someone cutting open his chest with a blade. He then violently clutched at the place where his heart is, and ripped his own invisible heart out.
"She did this to me."
A girl had broke him, broke his heart...

Now see, the moral of this story is that everyone feels heartbreak, and sometimes we forget that. It's okay to feel hurt, and allow ourselves to be human. The boy I met earlier this summer was exactly that, human, yet he was viewed as something more deadly because of the pain he was feeling. The only thing more deadly than ourselves is ourselves and our inner demons we must combat. It really is a spiritual war, life is. All we can do is decide how to train our army to fight ourself.

-V.