I've been praying to see you more, and all I can think about is how much I miss you and love you. As they say in that song, "All of my memories keep you near."
Now I have to go another school year without you. Another day passes that you're not in my life anymore because of the distance. I hate it, and I think it's why I'm so sad and I can't move on. I need help to move on, and you were the one who would always help me, but now I am being told I have to do this on my own. I'm scared, but please know darling I'll always love you. I never want to lose you, but I feel like I already have. I got a call from you today, and I can't stop thinking about you and how much I miss the good life I had while you were here. I really hope you come back to visit soon because there is this wrenching feeling in my gut everyday I wake up. I've allowed it to eat at me, knaw at my innards.
I feel panicked and scared.
Alone and helpless.
Please, are you there?
I'm so desperate I'm asking every fucking god in the universe to help. I'm clawing at my souls face for some sort of release, a release I cannot find. I refuse to give up and move on, because people like you don't just grow on trees.
I feel sort of silenced too. I have to go to a school where I feel like a freak, some sort of outcast that everyone views different.
I feel like I don't greive right, and I'm just starting to grieve now that it's been almost a year since your move. I'm still waiting for your parents to go, "JUST KIDDING!", but it doesn't happen.
-V.
Kelsey this is so good!! I love it!:) And i cant help but know who it is ;)
ReplyDeleteFriends, people really, come and go. The key is remembering to cherish the memories you have, but keep looking forward. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you guys. Thanks for your comment Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteOh Kelsey, why do you make me cry? But it's okay because it's a healthy cry I go through every month where I think about the past and how much I miss it yet know that I must move on. I'm just as reluctant as you to let go of that bitter feeling because I know that it's my sore heart that wants to come home. Yet, I know that this is my home now. I will never forget what we have and how much I cherish it, because you have molded me into this person that I'm so glad I have been blessed to become. Just know I am always here for you and that I'll love you through every trial, hardship, and bitter-sweet reminiscings of our past and soon to come future. I love you more then words can tell.
ReplyDeleteI am always here for you too pal <3. I know we're always gonna be friends no matter what happens. You betta come visit soon.
ReplyDelete